Couples Therapy & Marital Counseling
Are you experiencing any of the following in your relationship?
- Communication problems, with one or both partners not feeling listened to or validated
- Loss of the closeness or passion you once had
- Arguing about the same issues over and over
- A sense that you are drifting apart or leading parallel lives
- Difficulty regulating emotions or managing anger
- Betrayal of trust or other fidelity-related issues
- Disagreements about finances, including spending or investments
Don’t sit by and watch your relationship deteriorate! Far too many people are suffering from relationship problems that could be corrected by learning powerful yet simple skills.
Begin With a Safe, Constructive Conversation
Couples are often afraid to talk things over for fear that emotions will get out of control or that both people will end up feeling hurt once again. That is why the first priority of effective couples therapy should be to provide you and your partner with the support and guidance you need so that you can begin a dialogue that feels safe, respectful and constructive.
Transform Conflict into Intimacy
Some couples worry that, because there is a lot of conflict in their relationship, couples therapy may not work for them. Yet conflict often provides the pivotal moment in couples therapy for achieving healing, personal growth and deeper intimacy.
Often couples with the strongest chemistry also experience the most challenging impasses, such as when the behavior of one person directly triggers the vulnerability of the other, which in turn leads to behavior that re-triggers the vulnerability of the first person, leading to escalating conflict.
Ironically, these classic impasses offer a unique opportunity for both people to finally feel heard, validated, supported and appreciated without triggering the other’s defensiveness or anger. (For more discussion on working with conflict, see “How to Transform Conflict into Intimacy” in the Resources section.)
Communicate in Ways That Get the Best Results
Thanks to the research of John Gottman, an internationally acclaimed author and clinician from Seattle, we now know much more about what makes relationships succeed or fail. For example, based upon his 30 years of research with 3,000 couples, Gottman is now able to predict with more than 90% accuracy whether a couple will divorce after observing them for just five minutes.
Using Gottman’s findings, it is possible to isolate and learn the communication skills that are characteristic of the most successful couples, and, equally important, to learn to avoid the communication traps that have been found to be most problematic. (See the Resources section for my article "A Relationship in Trouble: How to Reduce Negativity".)
With the right kind of support and coaching it is possible to communicate clearly, calmly and constructively on any topic. You can listen and express yourself more effectively, set boundaries, fight fairly, defuse tensions, compromise and resolve conflict.
“You do not need to be feeling great about each other to do the things that warm each other’s heart. What you do need is goodwill and a desire to have a loving relationship.” Ellen Wachtel, from her book 'We Love Each Other, But...'
Deepen Your Appreciation of Each Other
Finally, couples therapy is not just about reducing conflict or improving communication; it is also about building upon your strengths and deepening and further expressing your appreciation of each other.
Your relationship deserves to be honored and respected! At its best, couples therapy becomes an adventure, a chance to celebrate what is working in your relationship and to explore its greater potential.
For those who wish, I will introduce you to cutting-edge tools and strategies developed by John Gottman that are designed to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, as well as providing you with skills that you can use effectively for a lifetime. Even couples who feel that they have a good “foundation” may be surprised to find how powerful small changes can be in creating more passion, connection and love. (See the Resources section for my article "Reviving Your Relationship by Strengthening the Positives".)
To ask questions or set up an appointment call 212-439-4102 or contact me by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
180 East 79th Street, Suite 1A
New York, NY 10075