Approach to Psychotherapy

In my more than 14 years of practicing psychotherapy I have increasingly realized that the most powerful role for the therapist is to facilitate a client’s natural healing process, including the client’s ability to connect with their own wisdom and emotional intelligence and to find answers within. A simple phrase that captures this process is “facilitating emergence”.

My role is often that of an empathic and resourceful guide, to listen deeply and non-judgmentally and to ask questions or respond in a way that moves the process forward. This “moving forward” is characterized by a sense of “discovery” and “rightness”; it may feel transformative, or it can be more subtle.

The “Art” of Psychotherapy

Being “client-centered” forms the baseline of my approach to psychotherapy, but that does not mean that I am passive. The way a therapist listens and responds is central to what unfolds, and this “art” is something that a skilled therapist hones over time.

I think of the “art” of psychotherapy as the therapist’s ability to establish a successful and rewarding therapy relationship, as well as the ability to draw from an extensive knowledge base in a way that is seamless, organic and suits the unique moment with the particular client. It is like having a “tool kit” of many theories and approaches that the therapist can access and use spontaneously in the session. 

I am an “eclectic” therapist in that I believe in having an extensive “tool kit” to work with. I have a passion for learning, integrating and applying new theories and approaches in my work with clients — and my practice, philosophy and theoretical orientation keep evolving and growing as I continue to add to my knowledge base.

Cognitive Therapy

Many of the concepts that I integrate come from cognitive therapy. For example, when clients are caught in one of the 10 classic cognitive distortions, we can practice substituting thoughts that are more accurate for the negative, distorted thoughts. 

Clients also may appreciate learning about common “schemas” (such as emotional deprivation, abandonment, defectiveness, subjugation, etc.) so that they can recognize the counter-productive, self-perpetuating nature of these schemas and have exercises and strategies to address them. 

Specific cognitive therapy treatments are available to help reduce distress stemming from anxiety, panic, phobias, depression, perfectionism, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), etc. Symptom relief is often the first step before more exploratory therapy can be successful.

Facilitating

The following are some examples of ways that I work with clients who prefer a pro-active approach.  As with any concept or technique, the test is whether it resonates for the client:

  • Experiential Focusing. Focusing involves teaching a client to be in touch with bodily feelings or a “felt sense” and to learn to explore and find words from this deeper place. By gently checking inside and trusting a client’s organic process, our perspective can evolve and feelings can be transformed.
  • Guided Imagery. In guided imagery, a client is asked to visualize a scene, often from the past, and then is encouraged to reconnect with the thoughts and feelings that they experienced at that time. The therapist validates and supports the client’s experience and may guide the imagery to create, in the image, something that the client needed at the time.
  • Sub-personalities/gestalt therapy. We all have different sub-personalities or modes within us, such as a “vulnerable child” mode or a “conscientious” mode, etc. In this work, clients identify and explore their different modes. The goal is that, through non-judgmental exploration, each mode can develop to its highest, healthiest level.

Behavioral Change/Coaching

I am attuned to the importance of timing and readiness when considering a coaching approach. Research on the stages of change has shown that more than half of people who go into therapy are at the “pre-contemplation” stage, and another 30%-40% are at the “contemplation” stage — meaning that they are thinking about changing but are not committed to action.

That leaves only a small group at the “preparation” stage where they are making preparations before they can take action, or at the final “action” stage where they are ready to modify their behavior. 

The therapist must first assess which stage a client is at and not just assume that they are at the “action” stage. Then, the therapist helps the client move forward one stage at a time so that the client is truly ready before beginning behavioral change strategies.   

To find out more about how psychotherapy might be helpful for you, call 212-439-5102 or contact me by email at eli@relationshiprealizations.com.

180 East 79th Street, Suite 1A
New York, NY 10075

  

Subscribe to my email newsletter Subscribe to my email newsletter

"This incident was one of a number which helped me to experience the fact — only fully realized later — that it is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried. It began to occur to me that unless I had a need to demonstrate my own cleverness and learning, I would do better to rely upon the client for the direction of movement in the process."

 

From On Becoming a Person by Carl Rogers

 

 

Here is a sample of some notes/emails that I have received from clients:

 

“Thank you so much for your incredible talents and generosity. I’ve learned a great deal from you and have been able to transform my life relying on your guidance and support. Having a place to go to truly express myself has given me more courage to expand my limited boundaries... You have also taught me about receiving — your gracious gift of time and insights and expertise has deeply moved me.”

 

“Thank you again for being in my life when I was lost and confused in my marriage. You helped me stay strong, gave me reassurance and helped me build a stronger foundation for my marriage”.

 

“I love staying in touch with you, who helped me so much! My friend and I still reference things you said to me, and at least once per week I ‘ground’ myself by thinking about our conversations related to ‘staying in touch with my wounds... never leaving them behind.’”

 

“I can’t thank you enough for your guidance and support through a very difficult period in my life, and I know I wouldn’t be where I am today if it were not for your help. You are truly an amazing person.”